If i come over, it means nothing
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
FUCK WHALES
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
