Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
