She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
