I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
