yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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