I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize