I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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