he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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