I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
