your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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