Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
