the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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