kristin has been a bad kristin
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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