I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
