she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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