Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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