So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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