I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
