It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
