I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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