We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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