We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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