i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize