imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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