She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
