A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
