i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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