Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just pee around me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
