I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
