i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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