i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
