i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
