Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
