they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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