we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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