Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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