I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
