let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
This is my gift to your gina
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
