Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
