youre lurking in front of me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
