Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
