you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
