well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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