i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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