It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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