Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
