please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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