So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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