Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
