Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
