well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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