1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
