Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
