i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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