god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
