we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
and eventually we just all took our pants off
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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