Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
