she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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