theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
