If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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