I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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